Transcript 

00:00:00 

Hello and welcome to spilling the milk, the podcast where we talk about breastfeeding. 

00:00:06 

You know, the thing that moms have been doing since the beginning of time. 

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And yet it's still not. 

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Really talked about as much as it needs. 

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To be we're here to fix that. 

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Today, my guest is Liesel. 

00:00:24 

She is originally from the Philippines and has been living in the United States and is the mom of a 3 year old daughter and a 10 month old son. 

00:00:33 

She is very open and honest with. 

00:00:36 

Us about her. 

00:00:37 

Experience giving birth in the US and breastfeeding. 

00:00:40 

And trying to raise two tiny humans while her husband. 

00:00:44 

Is away for. 

00:00:45 

Work and she is not able to drive and some of the logistics challenges that presents, especially while living in snowy cold Michigan. 

00:00:59 

Welcome. 

00:01:00 

The weather is a lot different here than California. 

00:01:06 

I mean, I love snow. 

00:01:08 

OK, every year I get fat either just the snow. 

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I just don't like it. 

00:01:12 

Like I thought it's over and on Wednesday. 

00:01:16 

Snow, I thought it was if the grass were already green. 

00:01:19 

The the snow already melted and then snow again. 

00:01:23 

So I'm just happy with like first month of the winter Snow or January. 

00:01:27 

I know it's snowy. 

00:01:29 

But it's like this. 

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Ah, no more, but still I'm still happy to see Snow every year. 

00:01:35 

California is a good brother. 

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I live in. 

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San Diego it has the. 

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Best weather I believe, or I guess, but. 

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And I love it there because I can basically access all the stores that I needed to go groceries clinic for my kids. 

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It's really accessible like it's just offering this since here it's different. 

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It's you really need to have a car to reach. 

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Yeah, to wherever you want to go. 

00:02:01 

Yeah, yeah, I hear. 

00:02:03 

I was in Chicago for five years when I had my first baby and I could just walk to Starbucks or the park or the bus to the grocery store. 

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Right. 

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And then. 

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Yeah, I. 

00:02:15 

I haven't been to Starbucks for almost a. 

00:02:17 

Month now since then. 

00:02:18 

No, because my husband is in Florida, so he's in school for a month. 

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So I here, along with my two kids. 

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That's why it's kinda. 

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I'm OK him going away for that for a week or so, but we just got here. 

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We just moved here. 

00:02:36 

So I basically adjusting for everything and he just left and I'm left with two kids with in a new environment and a new home. 

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We are basically I can't do much because I don't drive. 

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I can only do online groceries which very. 

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Helpful by the way. 

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But I want to go to store. 

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And buy it by. 

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Myself, but I'm stuck here at home. 

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I'm super scared that my kids get sick because of the cold weather, because this is their first time to experience the winter like real. 

00:03:06 

So I'm kind of scared to go out to have A to go for a walk because I don't want them sick because I'm scared because I don't have any help here because my sister-in-law lives 45 minutes away from here, so it's not like. 

00:03:19 

Hey, can you come here? 

00:03:20 

I can't do that because she has kids still and she has work, so if only, like emergency or urgent. 

00:03:26 

That's why I'm trying not to get sick. 

00:03:29 

Yeah, actually, me, because I'm the caretaker of my kids, so. 

00:03:34 

That's really what I'm worried. 

00:03:36 

About and at this moment I'm very cooped up and I'm very not bored, but I can't stop feeling down because I'm just home because I'm not used to this. 

00:03:45 

If I wanna like feel like, you know, I wanna get fresh air, I I will go out. 

00:03:49 

So in California I always do that. 

00:03:52 

Like with my kids going to the. 

00:03:53 

Park, there's a park. 

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Here in this housing or in this place, but it's cold. 

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So I I don't like the hassle of bundling them up and the house you need to go up. 

00:04:06 

There's like stairway. 

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So I'll have to get the stroller. 

00:04:09 

I'll have to make sure that they're bundled. 

00:04:12 

It's kind of like tiring for me to have that a lot to do, that lot work, so I just make sure that they're entertained with a lot of toys and yeah. 

00:04:26 

So what are the ages of your kids? 

00:04:28 

So my first daughter is she's going to turn three years old this coming Thursday and my son. 

00:04:37 

He's going to be 10 months old tomorrow. It's just sad. It's my husband sat here for my daughter's third birthday and supposedly my sister in laws. 

00:04:46 

They come over here supposedly today to celebrate, to be with my daughter, because she has three kids, so at least we have, you know, she has. 

00:04:55 

Payments and that. 

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Unfortunately, they were not feeling well, so they couldn't make it. 

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So at what point did he start using formula? 

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Did you breastfeed when he was first born or what? 

00:05:05 

What was your journey like? 

00:05:08 

So for the both of. 

00:05:09 

Them or for my son only. 

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You can start. 

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Just talk about your son if you want. 

00:05:14 

OK, so for my son, I think I really had a good production with milk with him. 

00:05:20 

And at the time he was really breastfeeding well and unfortunately I had been torchmen like it was really bad, like worse ever. 

00:05:29 

Like I was bleeding and I went to a lactation consultant. 

00:05:35 

** *** was able to help me and I was able to know more about like. 

00:05:39 

Latching or latching. 

00:05:40 

Yeah, yeah. 

00:05:43 

So I was able to do that and then and then at the time, I feel like he wasn't really drinking a lot from my my I mean breast. 

00:05:53 

It was just that every time I pump he will drink more, but then anyways, yeah. 

00:05:58 

So I lasted only four months because I started taking pills and at the time. 

00:06:03 

I I realized that the pills actually caused my milk production to. 

00:06:09 

Get low. 

00:06:10 

Is that what happened to my daughter too? 

00:06:12 

But with my daughter? 

00:06:14 

She was premature. 

00:06:15 

So she has a supplement with formula. 

00:06:17 

It's simila. 

00:06:18 

It's for nature. 

00:06:20 

So at the time, I was really pumping like every two to three hours because I want my daughter to have breast milk because that was pandemic. 

00:06:28 

It was the the pig, the height of pandemic, left down. 

00:06:33 

So I was kind of more I want. 

00:06:34 

To give her the. 

00:06:35 

Breast milk, because that's what. 

00:06:36 

They say so. 

00:06:39 

With my daughter, I lasted almost six months, but with the supplement of Formula No. 

00:06:44 

Yeah, formula of course. 

00:06:45 

And with my son right now, I was eager and I I pushed myself that I'm gonna breastfeed him until at least six months because I'm kind of like, exhausted mentally because I'm. 

00:06:57 

Dealing with a toddler and with him. 

00:06:59 

And I told myself that. 

00:07:02 

I'm not going to force myself if there's really nothing's going on because with my daughter I really forced myself like to the point that I was mentally drained, that because because of the notion that you need to give breast milk, I know breast milk is really good. 

00:07:15 

I I'm not gonna compete with that. 

00:07:17 

It's really I do. 

00:07:18 

It's just that myself is not really producing well. 

00:07:21 

I did a lot. 

00:07:22 

I drink the tea. 

00:07:24 

And for Filipinos like me, each time we have this Malone guy leave. 

00:07:29 

That is really true. 

00:07:30 

It will really give your milk like a production, like more. 

00:07:35 

But I don't have it here. 

00:07:37 

We don't. 

00:07:37 

It's not really that popular here in America. 

00:07:40 

You can only access that frozen if you if you're lucky. 

00:07:44 

But yeah, so I I did try the oatmeal because that's also one. 

00:07:49 

But I just stopped five months. 

00:07:51 

I don't know. 

00:07:52 

Almost six months, but with him, because I'm not stressing myself. 

00:07:55 

If there's still milk, then go. 

00:07:56 

But there's none. 

00:07:59 

And then I stop at four months and. 

00:08:03 

I was really happy cause. 

00:08:04 

For three months, I guess for first month, it was purely breastfeeding. 

00:08:09 

I think until two months and then I just introduced him with formula the lactation too. 

00:08:14 

So that gave me this shirt like it's a. 

00:08:17 

It's a congratulation shirt for like breastfeeding fully breast exclusively breast fed baby. 

00:08:25 

So I was like happy about that cause I did not have that with my. 

00:08:28 

Or what's the shirt for you? 

00:08:30 

Or for the baby? 

00:08:31 

For the baby, not for me. 

00:08:32 

For the baby. 

00:08:33 

So umm, he just. 

00:08:34 

Wore it once. 

00:08:36 

And and also when I was breastfeeding with my son, I was pumping because he can drink more with the pumping than for me than nursing. 

00:08:46 

Because maybe the latching, I don't know, maybe that's really the. 

00:08:50 

Problem and *******. 

00:08:52 

Bleeding, and I don't really like the feeling anymore because I'll have to. 

00:08:57 

I'll have to palm every three hours and it's hard because I have a cuddler too and my my, my, my husband is. 

00:09:05 

Always at work. 

00:09:06 

So and not not. Not to mention like you have to prepare your toddler's food. 

00:09:12 

You know the. 

00:09:15 

So it was just really a lot, so. 

00:09:18 

I decided, OK, let's do the. 

00:09:20 

Formula and then from there. 

00:09:22 

On he was OK. 

00:09:23 

I mean, I mean, at first you'll really have that mom yell, feeling that you did not really give. 

00:09:29 

Breast milk. 

00:09:31 

But I would choose my mental health, I guess. 

00:09:39 

I mean, my baby is fat anyways, and I believe a well fed baby is the best. 

00:09:45 

I guess that was that the line. 

00:09:47 

Yeah, that is best. 

00:09:47 

But yeah. 

00:09:48 

Yeah, so. 

00:09:49 

I think that's where I was actually like. 

00:09:53 

That's where I'm like getting getting that determination. 

00:09:58 

That or my my my mind to be sad that it's OK. 

00:10:01 

It's OK. 

00:10:02 

It's gonna be alright. 

00:10:03 

It's gonna. 

00:10:04 

But then that's when I realized that maybe because of the pills, they do say that though. 

00:10:08 

But the pills actually had the side effects. 

00:10:10 

That that. 

00:10:11 

Yeah, it might, but. 

00:10:13 

Every time, because when we bought, I didn't notice that. 

00:10:16 

But when my son I did because I really had a good production, I really, I really produced milk. 

00:10:23 

But after I started taking pills, it's getting low and low. 

00:10:27 

Do you mean birth control pills? 

00:10:28 

Yeah, birth control. 

00:10:29 

OK. 

00:10:30 

Got it. 

00:10:31 

So it's getting like starting. 

00:10:33 

To get low. 

00:10:35 

OK. 

00:10:35 

It's just the pills and I, I don't know, maybe I just I I just really want, I just don't wanna stress myself to force myself. 

00:10:43 

To actually breastfeed my son. 

00:10:46 

I I I did my best until four months and like I said, I told myself if I cannot take it. 

00:10:51 

Anymore I'm not. 

00:10:53 

I'm not gonna force myself. 

00:10:55 

I'm just. 

00:10:55 

Gonna stick with the formula. 

00:10:56 

Well, it sounds like you are taking care of a toddler and pumping and having to feed the pumped milk. 

00:11:03 

And having to take care of the house and having to try. 

00:11:06 

To get everyone to sleep on somewhat. 

00:11:08 

Of a schedule, including yourself. 

00:11:10 

Yes, feed everybody, it's. 

00:11:13 

Like it's like 3 full time jobs at the same time. 

00:11:16 

Yeah, not including like the the feeling of having the post parking use that they have to kind of. 

00:11:24 

Ignore that I'm I'm actually going through with it because I don't think that postpartum depression has a space for me. 

00:11:34 

I'm really experiencing it, but I think. 

00:11:38 

The key there is if you have really a good coping mechanism on how you actually deal with it. 

00:11:43 

Like if you're just gonna let you eat it, then yeah, you're gonna be so down. 

00:11:49 

But me, I'm kind of like, no, I have. 

00:11:52 

A Thunder. 

00:11:53 

I can do this. I have a baby. I cannot do this and not to mention, I was C-section. 

00:11:58 

My son, that also added my. 

00:12:03 

My mini depression, I don't know what would be. 

00:12:06 

I wouldn't really say depression, but I felt that that was the definition of how I felt because I did not really accept that I got. 

00:12:14 

I had a C-section with my son because I had a natural delivery and a normal delivery with my daughter with. 

00:12:22 

My son, I had a C-section, which it was really hard for me to accept, even up until now, but as long as my son is good, he was delivered safely. Then I'm OK. This car is my son. 

00:12:39 

You were, you know, my son's car. So I'm. 

00:12:42 

Happy with it, but. 

00:12:44 

If if I think about it, it was just how I wish I was just really the the healthcare team. 

00:12:51 

I don't, I don't blame them, but I kind of not did it like of how they. 

00:12:56 

Deal with that time. 

00:12:58 

So yeah. 

00:13:00 

Yeah, it sounds it sounds traumatic. 

00:13:05 

It was really traumatic because I thought with my daughter that was really the traumatic one because she was premature. 

00:13:11 

She was born 8 weeks early, so she was I was 32 weeks and five. 

00:13:16 

Days and then. 

00:13:17 

All of a sudden I had this. 

00:13:19 

Stomach ache or cramps that I thought it was just normal or. 

00:13:23 

What you call? 

00:13:24 

Sometimes you still have light falls. 

00:13:28 

Brexton yeah. 

00:13:29 

Yeah, exactly like that. 

00:13:31 

So but it was. 

00:13:33 

Different because every time I move it's not going away because if it's false or it's Braxton sex, if you like, change your position, it will go away. 

00:13:42 

But at the time it didn't. 

00:13:43 

So I called the emergency the the labor and delivery I told what happened because there was already spot thing when I peed. 

00:13:50 

And then they admit me there. 

00:13:52 

They admit and they asked me to go to the hospital and then I went there with my husband. 

00:13:57 

They checked they had this cervical test, which is so. 

00:14:02 

And they told me that my my water bro. 

00:14:06 

But then, since I was still 32 weeks, my baby's lungs wasn't matured enough. So what they told me is that I they will try their best to hold me until my my my baby is 35 weeks in my tummy. 

00:14:19 

So my room is ready for like a month, but then at the time the epidural, I did not say I did not have the. 

00:14:27 

Epidural yet because they. 

00:14:28 

Said I'm gonna. They gonna hold me for 35 weeks, so why would I need the epidural if I'm not gonna deliver? 

00:14:34 

Anyways, so at the time it's starting to have this contraction, the intervals was getting shorter and shorter and shorter. 

00:14:41 

It's like less than a minute. It was the worst pain ever, even up until now. I can still remember, but like my mother-in-law said that you would. Really. I do remember how pain it was. It was really painful. Like it's. 

00:14:54 

Uh, 20 out of 10, whatever it. 

00:14:57 

Was really painful and. 

00:15:01 

And then the anesthesiologist or the healthcare king, they're set next time. 

00:15:05 

If next time don't don't decide for epidural last minute. 

00:15:09 

And I was. 

00:15:10 

Like I did not decide last minute. I was supposedly be home for 35 weeks. That's why. And then the doctor was the one who actually suggested that. 

00:15:20 

You want a. 

00:15:20 

Patrol now because it was their basement, because the baby really wanna go out. 

00:15:24 

My baby decided I want to see the world. 

00:15:26 

Mommy, I cannot wait. 

00:15:28 

So until that pain was really strong. 

00:15:31 

I I don't know and. 

00:15:33 

I had that epidural 30 minutes after it was really the most worst ever because I was having that and having I was having the contraction. 

00:15:41 

It was super. 

00:15:44 

And I can remember, right? 

00:15:45 

Now, like, Oh my God. 

00:15:46 

I did. I I was. 

00:15:48 

Able to surpass overcome it was wow. 

00:15:52 

I was having that epidural and I was having contraction at the same time, the most painful ever and. 

00:16:00 

And I was actually crowning. 

00:16:01 

I think I wanna poop. 

00:16:02 

And then the nurse there was the nurses. 

00:16:04 

I want to poop. 

00:16:05 

And I was getting. 

00:16:07 

Very edgy. 

00:16:09 

I was really angry cause the pain and then my husband was I was holding my husband. 

00:16:15 

Like so tight. 

00:16:16 

Like this, I grasped his arm on his head. 

00:16:20 

I still wanna poo up and that. 

00:16:21 

Was the baby. 

00:16:22 

Right, the. 

00:16:23 

And then when the doctor said, oh, you're hundred, 100% face, baby's down ready. So you're good to go. 

00:16:31 

So after like maybe 30 minutes, I think they just asked me to push. 

00:16:35 

Like I think I tried to cause I was learning how to push. 

00:16:38 

I didn't. 

00:16:39 

The healthy team was all there. 

00:16:41 

Because I had a a premature. 

00:16:43 

So the baby just lay down my baby just lay down. 

00:16:46 

I didn't even know what to do. 

00:16:47 

They just booked the baby here. 

00:16:48 

I didn't even have a. 

00:16:49 

Picture because I wasn't ready at all. 

00:16:53 

I was shocked. 

00:16:54 

I was just. 

00:16:54 

Looking at my. 

00:16:55 

Baby and I was wearing this gown and I just take it all. 

00:16:59 

I don't even care who are the people anymore. 

00:17:01 

Like you already seeing me. 

00:17:03 

So I just take it off and then the doctor or the nurse just cover my breast because it it's. 

00:17:09 

It's not like I need to breast with that baby right away, I guess. 

00:17:12 

Because they need. 

00:17:13 

To get the baby because she was from our church. 

00:17:15 

So they need to do not resuscitate, but. 

00:17:18 

Put in the. 

00:17:20 

Incubate that one though. 

00:17:22 

Later, but yeah. 

00:17:25 

Because that's why there's a lot of. 

00:17:26 

There but. 

00:17:27 

With my son, it was totally. 

00:17:30 

I had 10 people in my room with my daughter. 

00:17:33 

I don't have. 

00:17:34 

I don't have eight chair because she was small, so she just lie down and I'm just really good to go. 

00:17:40 

I'm like not saying something in my head, but for agina I I recovered so fast like nothing happened. 

00:17:46 

Just let the baby out and I'm done like nothing. 

00:17:50 

After after that exactly after the panel got I. 

00:17:51 

You went to the hospital. 

00:17:55 

Did not think the pain anymore. 

00:17:57 

Was just. 

00:17:57 

Wow, wow. 

00:17:58 

But with my son, it was totally different. 

00:18:00 

So at that time, I said to myself, I'm gonna go get epidural. 

00:18:03 

I'm not gonna be hero. 

00:18:05 

And OK, go. 

00:18:06 

So the doctor since my my blood pressure is high, I'm still high risk for pre Plumb job. 

00:18:13 

So the doctor. 

00:18:15 

Said you need to be induced. 

00:18:17 

OK, so it's scheduled. 

00:18:18 

I mean, it's predictable like you. 

00:18:20 

Know, OK, this would. 

00:18:21 

Be the day that my son's gonna be. 

00:18:23 

So I went to the hospital. 

00:18:25 

They had this thing and this thing, and they kept saying, oh, you know, it's gonna be painful when they we we put this thing inside. 

00:18:32 

You and blah blah blah. 

00:18:34 

It wasn't really painful because I believe that when my daughter and I had my daughter, that was the most painful ever. 

00:18:40 

Mine was different. 

00:18:41 

It was painful and at the same time it was discomfort all the time because they kept putting their fingers in my vagina. 

00:18:48 

He kept putting this one. 

00:18:49 

And then that happened was supposed to be there. 

00:18:51 

Ready break the water. 

00:18:53 

And they're just waiting. 

00:18:56 

But then my baby was stressed out inside. 

00:18:59 

So I think the water inside was kind of getting low, so they kept. 

00:19:04 

Putting water, I don't know. 

00:19:06 

What? What is so? 

00:19:07 

And the baby was really ready because the baby was ready in cyclic position. 

00:19:12 

But then for me, I mean it putting fluid back. 

00:19:17 

I think the baby swim or swim and change the position. 

00:19:20 

That's what I believe. 

00:19:22 

So when the time comes that I. 

00:19:23 

Need to let the. 

00:19:24 

Baby out the other. 

00:19:25 

Doctors said that I'm going to suggest for four steps. 

00:19:29 

I don't like 4 steps, but I asked what is that going to be happening is my. 

00:19:34 

Son's going to have boots. 

00:19:35 

I mean, I'm a nurse, so I kind of like aware about what's happening. 

00:19:38 

I'm not that knowledgeable because I never been a nurse. 

00:19:41 

I just like waited, so I know kind of fact about what's going to be happening. 

00:19:47 

So no, it's just going to have a it's just going to leave a little bruise, but that's OK. 

00:19:51 

And when the woman said I was kind of pushing and the head was already showing and I was pushing and then all of a sudden they do talk to two doctors. 

00:20:01 

That were there just left me. 

00:20:03 

So it was just my husband. 

00:20:05 

It was just me and the nurse. 

00:20:06 

My husband was holding my my right leg. 

00:20:09 

The nurse was holding my left leg and I was pushing. 

00:20:12 

Well, there's no doctor in front of my vagina. 

00:20:15 

So I was like, where's the healthcare team? 

00:20:18 

And the nurse. 

00:20:19 

Said no, you don't have a doctor yet because the. 

00:20:21 

Baby is not out yet. 

00:20:22 

I mean, it's not really crowning. 

00:20:23 

I feel like it's crowning because you already saw the baby. 

00:20:25 

So what's like? 

00:20:28 

I don't know. 

00:20:28 

So I mean, I was really irritated. 

00:20:30 

I was kind of angry already, but I. 

00:20:32 

Still tried to compose myself. 

00:20:34 

Because I don't. 

00:20:35 

I mean maybe this is how they are. 

00:20:37 

Maybe that's really because it was really. 

00:20:38 

A busy hospital. 

00:20:39 

I mean, they're full, so they're packed. 

00:20:41 

So I, I I do understand, but I don't and. 

00:20:46 

I was like. 

00:20:46 

Pushing for two hours with just the three of us and I was really exhausted. 

00:20:51 

The fact that there's no health care team there and then the second. 

00:20:54 

I think because it's it's rotational, so it's a change of healthcare team, so at 7. 

00:21:02 

There's new team, so there's a lot of. 

00:21:04 

People ready in. 

00:21:04 

The room and the doctor said. 

00:21:09 

There she is, she suggested a. 

00:21:12 

What a C-section up before that, the baby's position was. How do you like this one? Like he's? Yeah, he's looking like on the ceiling. 

00:21:24 

So that's why they they suggested the forcep because. 

00:21:28 

I cannot. I cannot. 

00:21:30 

Deliver it normally because of the head. 

00:21:32 

Like facing. 

00:21:34 

But the doctor said the previously said you can you can still you. 

00:21:37 

Can still, but I don't think so. 

00:21:40 

So when the the next doctor came, it's so hard that the baby it's it's it can be difficult to to to push the baby out when his face is facing up. 

00:21:52 

I think it's kind of. 

00:21:54 

But it's not that possible, so our only. 

00:21:57 

And I was like pushing. 

00:21:59 

For two hours with just the three of us, and I was really exhausted. 

00:22:04 

The fact that there's no healthcare team there. 

00:22:06 

And then the second I think because it's it's rotational, so it's a change of healthcare team, so at 7. 

00:22:15 

There's new team. 

00:22:16 

So there's a lot of people ready. 

00:22:17 

In the room. 

00:22:18 

And the doctor said. 

00:22:21 

This she is. She suggests that a A what? A C-section. Uh, before that, the baby's position was. How do you like this one? Like he's? Yeah, he's looking like on the ceiling. So that's why they they suggested the forcep. 

00:22:33 

Funny side up. 

00:22:41 

I cannot. I cannot. 

00:22:43 

Deliver it normally because of the head like facing up. 

00:22:47 

But the doctor said the previously said you can you can still you can still, but I don't think so. 

00:22:52 

So when the the next doctor came, it's so hard that the baby it's it's it can be difficult to to to push the baby out when his face is facing up. 

00:23:05 

I think it's kind of not. 

00:23:07 

It's not that possible. So our only last resort or choice would be C-section. 

00:23:14 

And then she didn't even recommend the forcep. 

00:23:17 

How would you feel that? 

00:23:18 

Are you like communicating well because. 

00:23:21 

It seems like the other. 

00:23:22 

Doctor wants forceps, but you you don't want for me. 

00:23:24 

I don't want the forcep I. 

00:23:25 

Don't really like it I. 

00:23:26 

Don't like the C-section? If I can push the baby, I will. 

00:23:29 

Push the baby. 

00:23:30 

And then the doctor said it's been. 

00:23:32 

Two hours. You're exhausted. 

00:23:34 

I mean, I was really mad. 

00:23:35 

Like, I don't know what's the, what's the haircut thing? 

00:23:37 

What's the? 

00:23:38 

Health care team here. 

00:23:39 

Let's go. Let's just let let's just do this and be done. So that's why I had a C-section. 

00:23:46 

And while I'm doing that, I was like, I was thinking more of this car I. 

00:23:51 

Was like I'm like I. 

00:23:53 

I was just. 

00:23:54 

I wanted to baby so OK, as long as the baby. 

00:23:56 

I don't care when the baby. 

00:23:57 

Came out when my. 

00:23:58 

Son came. 

00:23:58 

I just cried because I was already in pain. 

00:24:01 

I was already in so. 

00:24:02 

Much pain and. 

00:24:03 

Discomfort with my daughter is just more pain. 

00:24:06 

With my son, it was painful and a lot of discomfort. 

00:24:10 

Feeling you really don't know. 

00:24:12 

Like ah, I I. 

00:24:13 

Couldn't really imagine how painful and how discomfort I was feeling at that time with him. 

00:24:18 

That's why I just said, let's go. 

00:24:20 

Let's get this done because I'm done. 

00:24:22 

I'm tired. 

00:24:23 

I'm exhausted. 

00:24:24 

I'm angry with the people around here. 

00:24:28 

And so when the baby came out, I was crying because I I cried because I felt. 

00:24:33 

Like ohh, that emotion was just me being angry. But when the babies out, I didn't even care about the C-section anymore. 

00:24:40 

I was just the baby is safe. 

00:24:42 

The baby's OK, the. 

00:24:43 

Baby's good and happy. 

00:24:45 

Yeah, but well, it's. 

00:24:47 

A lot of emotions. 

00:24:48 

It was basically. 

00:24:48 

It was that, yeah, I was kind of mixed emotions. 

00:24:50 

I just did not understand anymore because first, the health care team was. 

00:24:54 

In there, I mean, you know, I mean. 

00:24:56 

It was kind of a bad experience and they claiming their hospital is #1 in San in San Diego and my experience wasn't really. 

00:25:05 

Didn't really like said to. 

00:25:07 

That number one, but they really do have a. 

00:25:10 

Good hospital. 

00:25:11 

They really have a nice one and. 

00:25:13 

I'm not. 

00:25:13 

Well, that can be true and you can be unhappy with the way things. 

00:25:17 

Went for you. 

00:25:19 

Well, I do understand because the baby's facing up. 

00:25:22 

So, yeah, that that would be the last resort. 

00:25:24 

I mean what I'm trying to say is that why would you ask me to push if there's no way I can push the baby? 

00:25:31 

Out, you know like. 

00:25:33 

You just tell me. 

00:25:34 

You you could just have told me. No. We need the C-section because the baby is facing up. There's no way to push because I've. 

00:25:40 

Been pushing for. 

00:25:40 

Two hours if that. 

00:25:42 

If that's what really happened. 

00:25:43 

If they just told me. 

00:25:44 

I will go to see. 

00:25:45 

Section. I'm not gonna. I'm. 

00:25:46 

Not gonna. 

00:25:47 

I'm not gonna hassle myself to be in pain. 

00:25:50 

More like. 

00:25:51 

Let's go. 

00:25:51 

Let's get this done. 

00:25:53 

Mean I I've. 

00:25:53 

Gone through a lot of the discomfort that you did. 

00:25:56 

Like a lot, put the fingers in your vagina. Like stop that. Just tell me about, like, what to do. Like, really need to have a C-section because the baby's freezing up. 

00:26:05 

That's it. 

00:26:05 

They just let me push for two hours. 

00:26:07 

Right. 

00:26:08 

That's also the one thing I was very upset about or disappointed about that hospital. 

00:26:13 

So yeah, no, that's a lot. 

00:26:16 

That's that's sounds very traumatic. 

00:26:18 

And like you sort of didn't feel like you had much control over the situation. 

00:26:24 

I did not. 

00:26:25 

Feel like at the time I was feeling. 

00:26:29 

Is it because I'm an issue? 

00:26:31 

Is there a different? 

00:26:32 

Is there a A some sort of different treatment? 

00:26:36 

If you're Asian, I'm sorry. 

00:26:37 

I mean, you're American, I mean. 

00:26:40 

I'm very sorry because that would just be. 

00:26:42 

Yeah, ask her like that. 

00:26:42 

Another factor? Yeah. 

00:26:44 

If my husband is. 

00:26:45 

Because if my husband is there, they cannot treat me like a little bit more easy. 

00:26:50 

They did not treat me. 

00:26:51 

But when I had my postpartum on post, part of my recovery when we moved to this recovery room, that recovery room to my room, which is my, my, my room at first was really nice. 

00:27:04 

Looks like a hotel, but after my C-section. 

00:27:06 

They have a different room for C-section patients. 

00:27:11 

The nurse that I had was very nice. 

00:27:13 

She was really nice. 

00:27:14 

She was. 

00:27:14 

She was really nice. 

00:27:15 

She was really. 

00:27:16 

She really took care of me. 

00:27:17 

Like I love it like. 

00:27:19 

Everything that that happened to me while I was in labor, it was just erased because of how the nurse treated. 

00:27:33 

And that was my conversation with Leizel, part one. 

00:27:36 

I'm planning to talk to her some more for maybe a Part 2. 

00:27:39 

She has lots to. 

00:27:40 

Share with us and I found it really interesting hearing about her experiences with the two different the two very different birth experiences. 

00:27:49 

And while the podcast is mainly focused on breastfeeding, I always enjoy hearing about people's experience with their pregnancy and their birth, because of course, that kind of sets the stage for when breastfeeding starts and how. 

00:28:01 

Mostly as moms. 

00:28:03 

It's kind of all part of the journey, so I appreciate her being so open. 

00:28:06 

And honest about. 

00:28:07 

That I'm curious about. 

00:28:10 

She mentioned moringa as something. 

00:28:13 

That was readily. 

00:28:13 

Available in the Philippines to help boost milk supply, but that she was having trouble finding in the US, so I'm going to look a little bit more into that. 

00:28:21 

I'm curious. 

00:28:23 

And that's it for this episode. 

00:28:25 

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00:28:31 

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00:28:43 

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00:28:47 

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00:28:52 

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00:29:03 

Thank you so much for listening and. 

00:29:04 

Take great care.